Tracey's World

I can't believe it's been more than 3 weeks since I've written.  Since that Monday after Thanksgiving work has been crazy.  I am definitely out of training mode.  I'm back to the 45-50 hours a week.  I really don't like working that much.  I guess it's not so much the being at work as it cuts into my time.  It's a hard transition after being employed part time for so long.   I hate not getting home until 6pm or later and then having to cook dinner.  I haven't been exercising much lately either.  I'm having a hard time fitting it in.  I guess I'll have to get up really early to do it.  I'm already getting up around 6 am and I know how important sleep is - so it's hard to intrude on that too.

It's also made me question taking three classes starting next month.  I don't know how I'll handle it.  I wish I had a grasp on how much time I'll actually need to spend studying.  After two long weeks at work I had decided to scale back to just one class, but that really delays finishing the prerequisites and moving on with my life.  I think I've decided to take two classes.  One online and one as an actual class & lab.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish in the summer term or not.  It all depends on the school's schedule and my work schedule.  We've been warned at work that we can expect long hours starting as early as April.  We have a big deadline at the end of 2010 and while things are being delayed significantly now there's no change in the final deadline.  There's no details yet, but I've heard we'd go to 60 hours/week for an extended period of time.  The VP asked my boss if she thought people would work those hours for 6 months.  Ugh.  Hearing that news definitely makes me want to find a different job.

There hasn't been much time for anything else recently.  I guess it's my schedule combined with the frigid weather we had for an extended period of time.  We had two weeks with just about every day below freezing and most of the days with single digit temperatures - so on the weekends we weren't that anxious to get out and go snowshoeing or anything.   Both Jason and I are learning to play the guitar.  I actually got him a guitar a few years ago for christmas and he did take a class for a while, but never made much progress.  I decided it would be a good winter project for me - so now he's interested in it as well.  I've learned some beginners songs such as Ode to Joy, Skip to My Lou, and Go and Tell Aunt Rhody.  It's been fun and I love picking up the guitar and playing something - even if it's extremely simple.  I'm a little intimidated by learning chords, but I suppose I'll begin that soon.  I'd like to get my trumpet back out, but living in an apartment I don't think it'd go over too well.

There's so much that I want to do, but feel I simply don't have the time.  I've really enjoying exploring new recipes and getting into cooking.  However last week I made the mistake of planning a bunch of new meals and by the time I got home at the end of the day I really didn't want to deal with it.  I did try to make pizza last night, but it was a bust.  For some reason the crust never got crisp and was very doughy.  I'll have to do some investigative work and make another attempt soon.

Jason and I bought a Wii for Christmas.  It's been hard keeping it under our tree, but we decided since that's our big present we'll wait.  I'm hoping it will add some entertainment and excitement to our evenings.  I feel like we're the last people to get one (as with most things....), so any suggestions for games would be appreciated.  We have been playing the board game Settlers of Catan.  We had one of my friends over the night and he loved it - so it's nice to have another person that enjoys playing it.  We've had game night about twice a month with my friend Steph - bottle of wine and several hours of settlers.  It's a great way to spend an evening.  We have been talking for quit a while to have different activities in the evenings - games, guitar, reading - and it seems we're finally getting around to really implementing that.  I've been wanting to get my watercolors out - I couldn't even tell you the last time I painted.  There's no way I'm going to get better at it with the paints sitting in my closet. My knitting project has also sat untouched for several weeks as well.    So much to do and so little time....

So, it's Thanksgiving morning, I woke up at 6:30 thinking about work - that does not make me happy.  I'm in charge of next week's cell run so I've spent the last several days at working preparing for it - there's an insane amount of prep work (lots of tubing that must be assembled and autoclaved), writing the protocol, and preparing an excel spreadsheet.  It starts Monday and I have jury duty that day as well, so I tried to get everything done yesterday just in case I get selected for a jury.  Due to that, I was at work ten and half hours yesterday.  Work has really picked up this week and so has the stress.  I want to say our current process costs $10,000/run - so it's a lot of stress to make sure everything is prepared correctly so that our run is successful.  The company still doesn't have a product - it's in Phase2b clinical trials - so money is still very tight.

I'm trying to keep a positive attitude towards work, but this job is not for me.  To be honest, there's not much I enjoy about it.  I'm still looking for other opportunities since this they hired me as a temp - no mention of when or if it will turn permanent, but I haven't asked either.  I did sign up for my three classes which start mid-January, so that's something to look forward to.  Seeing the bill for those and the cost of the text books and supplies really made me realize how much nursing school is going to cost.  I was very fortunate to have my parents pay for my entire undergraduate education, so at least I'm not still paying for that as I know several people my age are.  It's going to be expensive, but I've got to do something to invest in a career change.  No one is going to hire me to do something different in today's economy.

Obviously, we're staying here for Thanksgiving.  We talked about going out to eat, but decided against it.  We got a 6 pound turkey breast that Jason will be in charge of and I'll make everything else- mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, butternut squash, corn, stuffing, and of course cranberry sauce.   Jason said he likes the kind in a can - so that's what we'll have and he so graciously took on preparing the cranberry sauce in addition to the turkey.  My husband is a very simple eater.  He likes the simplest of everything.  He's a cheddar cheese, white bread kind of person.   He doesn't like anything "weird or trying to be fancy".  It makes it easier to cook to please him, but sometimes I wish he enjoyed more variety.  There's several recipes that I try and enjoy, but he doesn't - so they rarely get made.

Anyway, it's thanksgiving and even though it seems when I blog it's to complain about things, I am thankful for so many things.  I have a good life.  I'm thankful my health, my wonderful husband, living in a nice apartment, having great renters in our house, having an income in these tough times, all the opportunities I've had to travel, and the option to go back to school.  This thanksgiving for some reason I'm especially missing my family - I guess because Jason and I are here alone and I think of everyone else getting together.  When we were in SC in October they had a birthday dinner for me - that was nice.  I don't really get to share much with my family. Maybe someday we'll live closer...

I've been back at work for three weeks now.  I guess I'm adjusting.  I stopped having head aches every night - which is great, but I'm still just exhausted at the end of the day.  I'm making an effort to cook new meals and healthier meals, so I usually head straight to the kitchen when I get home.  We have an open floor plan, so I can watch TV or talk with Jason (if he's not in the kitchen helping) while he's on the computer,  so at least I'm not isolated.  Work is getting better as well.  I still don't have a full work load, but in two weeks I'll be "run owner" which means planning, writing a protocol, preparing supplies for a cell run. 

Jason went to Oklahoma this weekend to go to a football game with his family.  The game (OU) is tonight and tomorrow he'll visit with extended family in the area. He was planning to come home on Monday, but looks like there will be a lot of snow in forecast, so he might delay it a day.  It's nice that he has that flexibility.  We still only have one car, so I'm riding the bus to work while he's gone.  The ride it's self is fine - just a twelve minute ride, but then it's a 15 minute walk from the stop to my work.  That's one thing that I really miss about Seattle - I loved riding the bus there and it was so convenient.  I've thought about biking, but I'm really not comfortable biking after dark on a busy street.

I'm registering for three classes on Monday: physiology & anatomy I, microbiology, and statistics.  For physiology I'll actually go to class and lab, but the other two will be online.  I really wanted to take microbiology as a class, but with my current work schedule it's just not an option.  I'm not sure how it will go working full time and taking three classes, but we'll see.  If it's too much from the start I'll just drop one class and pick it up in the summer.  Right now the plan is to take these three classes in the spring, then take physiology & anatomy II in the summer, and apply for nursing school in the fall. 

I'm so anxious for a change.  I think Jason is also in a place where he is ready for something different too.  He's been self employed for over two years now and he's ready to take on something new.  He's still continue with his websites (the money is great), but after working solo for so long I think he's ready to get back out "in the world".  He says he's interested in a job, but I honestly can't see him back in a traditional job.  He's going to pursue volunteering at the university - maybe that will work out and satisfy him.

We're always toying around with the idea of moving - to where, I don't know.  Our lease is up in February and we're planning to renew it, but not sure how long of a lease we'll sign.  My classes will go through August, so at least until then.   I'll probably apply at some other nursing schools, but paying out of state tuition is outrageous, so we'll probably just stay in Colorado - assuming I get accepted.   We're hoping to have enough money saved to buy another house, but school isn't cheap either, so I don't know. 

I wish there was some way I could change careers right now without the years of waiting and the expense.  I've been looking at jobs, but of course with the market being so tight right now there's not much chance of getting a new position without prior experience. I've thought about volunteering in the medical field, but with three classes and working full (plus) time, there's really won't be much time left. I do miss being at home and working with Jason.  He needs help, but we've decided it's not a good idea for both of us to be supported by his websites.

Since the summer we've really been trying to figure out what we want to do, but we have so many conflicting desires that it's hard to come up with a plan. There's so many possibilities that we tend to change our mind every few days. One option is to buy a house, "settle down", and start a family.  Or we've always wanted to live overseas for a while.  Of course, just moving somewhere new in the US would be nice too.  I'm afraid I'll always have wanderlust - I don't know how well I'd do in one place.  The best option, I think, would be to have Jason's flexibility and take several vacations a year, but of course if I have a traditional job that wouldn't work.  I guess the plan is just to have a plan - if it changes, then so be it.  Of course, if we have kids that alters all our plans.  It's not to say we only have one plan - we could move or live overseas with kids too.  But at any time we should be working towards something, because in the last year I definitely realized if you don't plan, nothing changes.  It's been strange going back to my old job - the same people in the same positions.  I just think about everything I did while I was gone - all the new places, new experiences. 

Registration for the community college where I plan to take prerequisites is on Nov 16th.  I've been going through the process of applying to the school and getting paper work out of the way.  Since I have a BS I was able to exempt out of taking what is similar to a placement test.  However, today I finally met with an adviser ( you have to meet with one before registering for classes) and found out I can't register for the Anatomy class.  The catalog did state that general biology was a prerequisite for the anatomy class, but made no mention that it has to be within the last seven years.  WHAT??  I took this back in 1993.  Ugh.  So, I can take a biology placement test instead of retaking the actual general biology class.  But, now I only have a week to get this done.  Do I remember enough to just pass it?  I guess I'll have to spend my weekend studying general biology.

I'm still not even sure if I'll be able to attend classes with my work schedule.  Well, actually I do know that I won't be able to, but I'm going to register just in case things change and I'm able to go.  If not, I'll just drop the classes. I'm looking to take two classes, plus labs and then an online statistics class as well.  I really don't know when I'll have time to study while working full time.  It's not that it can't be done - it's just going to be a lot of work with late nights and early mornings. I'm already having a hard time adjusting to working full time - without any classes.

This week things have picked up at work, so of course my hours are already increasing.  It was nice last week when I could just leave around 5:00 with no problems.  This week I've been at work much later - Monday night we didn't eat supper until almost 8pm and tonight was 7pm.  I really don't like eating that late...and not knowing that it's going to be late.  Ugh.  It makes me sour. 

I think my body is having a hard time adjusting to working full time also.  I don't know if it's something in the lab or if it's just stress, but I have a headache just about every night now too.  I could count on one hand the number of headaches I've had since I left this job.  I don't know....I know it sounds like I'm complaining and I know no one feels sorry for me that I had so much time off - but it is quite an adjustment!

Tomorrow I'm suppose to be in at 5am - double ugh.  Since I'm just hired as a temp and I have hours like this, I am looking for other positions.  I'd love to have something with normal regular hours.

Over the weekend we had absolutely beautiful weather.  By Sunday just about all our snow had melted, so we took advantage of the nice weather and went on a long big ride. We went to a bike path in downtown Denver.  It was fun to be in the city, but away from the traffic.  I love riding my bike.  Jason got me a new bike helmet for my birthday, so now I can ride in style too.  My old helmet was quite old - I think from 1999! 

Anyway, I'm going to head back to the kitchen to get a head start on tomorrow nights meal.

I started my new/old job last Thursday.  Even though I'm returning to my old position, it has been a year and half, so I need to be retrained on many of the protocols.  Some are the same and some have changed, but just to make sure we don't miss anything I'm being retraining on basically everything.  With that in mind, things have been pretty slow.  I can't determine my own schedule since I'm paired to be trained with various other people.  When I was there before, most of the time I was the only research scientist in the group and now there are four of us.  I'm happy to be part of a larger group, but it also means there's a higher work load too. 

We got hit with a major snowstorm starting Tuesday night.  We had about 8 inches by Wednesday morning with conditions expected to worsen during the day.  Since I didn't have anything of my own to work on I decided not to go in. Turns out the rest of the group made it in, but left early in the day to get home before it got too bad.  The guy I was suppose to train with today isn't going in this morning, so my boss told me there's no reason for me to come in.  I was quite relieved since we now have 18 inches and it's suppose to continue with an additional 4-7 inches during the day.  Of course, we weren't suppose to have 18 inches either, so who knows what will happen!  I could get use to this schedule though, work two days, two days off, work two days, two days off....if only could last :)

I'll create a new album with some photos from our fall trip and our recent snowstorm. 

After leaving the beach, we headed to Aiken to visit my family.  It was nice to spend some time with my parents.  We didn't arrive until Saturday afternoon, so that gave them a chance to take care of their weekend chores before we arrived.   My mom has lost a lot of weight (she's about 15 pounds lighter than me!) and fixed several delicious meals while we were there.  She also made a birthday cake for me, which was nice because on my actual birthday Jason & I were camping.  Anyway, it was great to visit and have some good home cooked meals.  We went over to my brother's house Saturday and Sunday evenings.  He has a new, bigger house for all their five kids!  All the kid's bedrooms are upstairs with a big common area that serves as a play room.  It's nice that they have their own space so all the toys aren't all over the living room.  It was good to see all the kids - the twins are walking all over the place now.  Back in June when I visited they were just learning to stand up on their own.  Sean (~2.5 months) was much bigger than I expected and like all his siblings very well tempered.  I think he only cried once the entire time I was there and not that bad.  I was really surprised that he is sleeping 9 hours a night.  Andrew and Monica changed the rest of the kids bedtime to 7pm, so there's plenty of adult time in the evening.  I took some pictures of everyone - I'll post those in the next few days.

After SC, Jason and I headed up to NC to see the leaves.  A few years ago we were in western North Carolina the first week of October and the leaves weren't changing at all.  This year, we get there a week and half later and it's already the tail end.  So hard to time visits to see the leaves at their peak!  We camped just outside Asheville and sadly had absolutely awful weather.  We actually ended up spending an extra day in Aiken to avoid a day of heavy rain, but still ended up getting plenty of rain while we were there.  The campground was about 20 minutes from Asheville, which was nice so we could escape into the city.  One of Jason's friends and his wife met us for three nights of camping and we went through so much fire wood!  It was really cold and wet...by the last day the high was in the low 40's, so we didn't do much outdoor stuff, other than sit by the fire.  We had planned to go biking, but it was just too cold.  We managed to get in a hike off the Blue Ridge Parkway, so that was nice.

We got back home today - that was such a long drive!  We did it three days, 6 hours, 11 hours, and 5 hours.  I really just can't handle being in the car long periods of time like I use to.  Speaking of which, I had my 35th birthday a few days ago.  We didn't really do anything since we were camping, a bit anticlimactic, but I haven't done much for my birthday in quite a few years anyway.  This was kind of a big one and I just let it quietly slip by...

I start my new job on Thursday.  I have so many mixed feelings about returning to work.  I have a lot I want to get done with my day and half before I'm gainfully employed, so I guess I should get to it.

Today is our last full day at the beach.  It's always sad to leave...last year we actually ended up extending our stay because we didn't want to leave.  This year we made our reservation longer, but it doesn't seem to have helped.  We had one day of rain and one very overcast day early in the week, but the last few days have been absolutely perfect.  Once again we just keep our sliding door open the entire time and can hear the ocean whenever we're inside.  The past few days I've spent several hours both in the morning and afternoon down on the beach.  Wednesday there was some excitement - the lifeguards all started blowing their whistles and called everyone out of the water.  I don't know for sure, but the talk was that there was a shark. I didn't get the story from the lifeguard, but that's what other people were saying that walked down to the crowd.  There were tons of smaller fish jumping out of the water - it was crazy.  I've never seen anything like it.  I heard someone saying the fish jump out of the water when sharks are near - who knows.  I don't know why else they would get everyone out.  It was such a strange site to see people lining the beach periodically pointing out in the ocean.  Needless to say, I haven't gone in the ocean since then and unfortunately I hadn't gone in before then!  We have been in several of the pools, hot tubs, and lazy rivers - so we've definitely been enjoying water, just not ocean water.

We're headed to my parents house for the weekend.  I just got news last night that Sydney is sick and has a fever, so I certainly hope she feels better tomorrow and doesn't give any one else what ever bug she caught.   I really don't want to get sick!  Especially since we have another week before we're at home.  I certainly don't want to be sick while camping!

The other night we caught one episode of the new Ken Burns documentary on national parks.  I loved it...I seriously started crying in certain parts - I loved the personal stories people told about visiting parks and the impact it made on them.  While I didn't visit parks as a kid, I've certainly made up for it in the as an adult.  I was struck by how many of the scenes I personally recognized.  I've been so many places!  I realize how lucky I am to have traveled to so many beautiful places in our country.  It also got me thinking about how fortunate I am to have had this last year and half "off".   I left my biotech job in June 2008 and I've done so much since then, it's hard to believe.  I'll have to count all the places I've been since then - there's the drive up to Alaska, touring the southeast, DC, NYC, new england, all over the west, Minnesota... It's been absolutely wonderful.  Even the 8 month we were at home and I was working was nice because of the two low stress part time jobs I had.  It's been fantastic.  I feel so refreshed.  It does feel strange to know if less than three weeks I'll be back to the long hours of a demanding job, but I suppose in a way I'm ready for it.  It's been a long break.  I know before I was really unhappy at that position, so I'm going to consciously make an effort not to get that point again.  I'll have to keep in mind all the stuff I've done and that my coworkers were there working the entire time.